In a Funk

Have you ever been in a funk? Not a true depression, just a funk. I'm in a funk and I feel like my skin is on a little too tight. Stuff irritates me. Little stuff that usually doesn't. Ministry has been taking my husband away from me and I'm mad. I'm mad he's gone so much. I'm mad that other people cannot seem to make a decision without him. And I'm mad that I'm getting upset over it. It's a vicious cycle. He's gone to Men's Retreat this weekend. And he needs it, believe me. But Friday when he was getting ready to leave, I could just feel my skin shrinking around me. I was irritated at everything. I held it in because I didn't want him to leave with an unresolved fight and WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO HASH IT OUT. Story of my life. I don't have time for [insert anything fun here]. We've got to fix this. I sent him - are you ready for this? - an EMAIL to express myself. An email. I didn't even have a chance to actually speak to him. I didn't expect that he'd get it before he got back into work on Tuesday. But no, he checked his email at work before he met with his carpool. He calls me on his cell phone with all his carpoolers in the car. He starts the conversation like this: "I know we can't talk now, but I got your email." Wasn't this just what I was trying to avoid??!! I sort of thought he might get mad - ok, I was pretty sure he would be mad because one of the things I said in the email was that I felt like an afterthought in his life. But he turned the tables and said that he felt the same way. I squeaked out, "The afterthought part, too?" He ignored the question and said, "Take off half a day Monday. We'll get a sitter for Ethan and we're going out for the day. I'll call you when I get up there [to the retreat]." Click.

So here it is, Saturday night, home alone with the boys, just as funky (not in the cute fashionista way either) as I was before he left. Taking off half a day adds to my stress, but it needs to be done.

Girls, I need some prayer.