Kari

An important and painful milestone just passed in my life: the first anniversary of my friend Kari's and her daughter Keira's deaths. I could list all of Kari's wonderful accomplishments and traits. It would take a really long time and a long list of awards and adjectives somehow seems to diminish the person she truly was. Suffice it to say, she personified the best in "teacher", "friend", and "Christian". These labels can mean many things, but on her, they were exemplary. I was honored to work along side her as a professional and to live beside her, however truncated, as her friend. Her memorial service was painfully beautiful and while I sobbed through the whole thing, was one of the most worshipful events I have ever experienced. My heart still breaks for Matt as he deals with the loss of both his wife and daughter, pain I can't even begin to imagine, and, if I am honest, don't even want to contemplate. I can say her name and I can see her name in my phone (still!) without tearing up, but the tears are just behind a thin veil; not visible at first pass, but not all that hard to conjure up either. I'm not ignoring the promise that was the life of a nearly-two-year-old. My chest contracts at the thought - my own baby boy is only 4 months younger than Keira and that whole thing is way too close to home to delve into. I am grateful that neither she nor Kari appeared to suffer and I am comforted by the fact that I will see them both again one day. I still miss you, dear friend. Until we meet again...

These are the lyrics to a hauntingly beautiful song by Kenny Chesney.
Who You'd Be Today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face.
I hear you laughing in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place

Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today.
Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family?
I wonder what would you name your babies.
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you.
I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you.
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place.
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today.
Today, today, today
Today, today, today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday.

Someday, someday